


potato

by Lokincest



Category: Marvel, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Sex, Carrots, Crack, Fluff and Angst, Love Poems, M/M, Potatoes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:52:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2213010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokincest/pseuds/Lokincest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"no loki dats gay" thor whispread with his penis in loku butt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"LOKI" thor hollerd and ran into loki room.

"my boners missing will u help me look for it?"

"ya i'll help you" loki said squirmin uncomfortbly.

"Loki y u squirming uncomfortbly?" thor ask.

"NO IM NOT" Loki said but he's a liar.

"YOU HIDE MY BONER IN UR BUTT" THOR ACUUSE.

"no i didn't!" Loki said

"ok then what"

"carrot" loki lied but he coujldnt get it out.

thor take him to a hospital and Loki had to get butt surgery. 

it was a potato.

Thor never found his boner again. he crie evry day.


	2. Chapter 2

"lokai" thor whsirped like a cat eating a marshmalwoe.

"ya?" loki aksked secxually bc he so damnn fuckn hot.

"i want u 2 be the first person insisde my anal palace"

loki started cryng "im not a person im yotun!!!"

"i dont car i want u anywa pleas bruther" 

"ok" loke agree and stuck his thingy in thors exit hole. he cum.


	3. Chapter 3

"loki ur so beautful" thor babbled like a babbling brook.

"shut up nad give me ur dick" lokai said.

thors penis hard bc loki's voice so fine like a hot lady.

"okay i will give u wahtever you want" thor maon and put his thing inside lokis place.

"omg give me migard?" loki aske.

"NO LOKI IUR GOIONGN TO JAIL UR BAD LOKI"

"YA IM SO BAD'' LOKI MOAN AND CUM EVEYEJWHRE LIKE A SPRINKLLER


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh-OH Thor! Yes! " Loki moaned like a goat yodeling underwater.

Thor could feel Loki's hot love tunnel fluttering around his throbbing mansausage.

His orgasm was approaching faster than an out of control escalator. 

Thor came so hard, Loki's cervix was knocked unconscious.

"Oh, you got me pregnant so hard!" Loki exclaimed, and started shooting babies wildly into the air as his vagina ejaculated explosively.


	5. Chapter 5

"OH LORKI" thor groaned like a kid whose tamogotchi keep dying.

"ya put in my butt" Luki purred sexanally.

"k" thro whispard. he put dick in butt.

"mor" lucki damanded.

thore put carrot in like butt too.

"moRE" loik growl like a rabbit in heat.

thror put head of lettuce in lok butt. he toss his salad. 

loke came for seven days. no survivros.


	6. Chapter 6

"loky are u gay" thro whispared with his dick in Lorki butt.

"omg no i not gaay" Loxi gurgled arund thors dick in his mouth.

"wat ur sexal orentation then?"

"ur my sexualthorientation" Lerki mumble seixly like the [folgers cummercial](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Ir6CzxKl4).

Ther ejaculate emotions everyhwer and got sum in Lucky's hair. leki cri for five day poor loke.


	7. Chapter 7

"thor cum in my butt" loki sai. 

"no loki dats gay" thor whispread with his penis in loku butt. 

they not sex he just like to keep penis safe in lok butt bc it climate controlled, no homosaphien. 

"wat if my anulls on fire?" Leki pured sexiangrily. 

"wat" thor said and felt his penus hot. 

they both got 3rd degree burns. Leki why???


	8. Chapter 8

thor luvd popptarts. 

"I LUV POPTARS SOMUCH" thro yell. 

"ya but woukd yu fuck a poptert?" tony sacasmed asked. 

thor was alredy hammering his punis wildly in2 the pastrie. 

the slutty tart was hav multipul orgrasms bc thore the god of sextime. 

"POPTAU POP POP POPTARTS POPTRRRTPOPOP" thor beloed while tony videotapped him. 

he not aware of loki watch him w/ teares in his eyes. 

5 mil yutoube hits.


	9. Chapter 9

"why is ther green poptrrt on counter?" tony askd sarcasmly bc sarchasm his only emotions. 

it was a lokitart. 

Loki had transforgrified himself into tarty pop so thor wud love him and eat him sexuanally. 

"idk my bff IronStarksonMortalFriend u can hav it" thot told him. 

lurki crie. 

"omg this poptret is crynig i better eat it b4 it get soggy" tony downy jr say n put loki in his mouth. 

Leki cum. 

"that poptar tastd good"


	10. Chapter 10

"loku my penus hurt" thor complaied. 

"MAYBE U STOP STICKKING IT IN SLUTTY TARTS LOKI SCRAMED AT HTHOR 

but realy he not say anythng he kep his emtouins inside concEAL DONT FEEL. 

"loki plaes" thor cruied weaping real tears of pensis sadness. 

omg his bro so dumb wy loki is so smaart and thro is so dubm budmbudmddudduubmbmb but also so hot he wanat the d anywiy. 

"ok loki sai "come here i;lk kisss it beter for yu" 

bu loka didnt give tohr's penis akiss he put it in his mouth loki no what ar u doing??


	11. gobble edition

thanskgivng is coming thor loki whispred while his bro bro poked his wobbly pogo stick into his nono place.

yes im coming thor moan. he not listening he fucking loki. in the butt.

stuff me like a turkey loki moan loudly, rubbing his butt against thors like a turky in heat

YEAH IM STUFFIN YOU thr yell

yeah im a turkey! loki yell

wat thor said.

gobble gobble loki said.

thor cum.


	12. chrismas edition

"mery chrismas" thor said when loku come home

he was spread all sexy across the cowch like butter on hot toast excpet he was also the toast bc he was super hot too, sexy and hot like butter

he had no pants only mistoletoe tied onto his dingdong and a bell but the bell didn't go ding dong it went jingle ling

"it mistelstoe oh no u gotta kiss me" thor tell loke

"ok" said loki and kiss thor on his ding dong

~*jingleling ling jingle ingle ling jing ling*~


	13. crispmas edition

"i got u a gift of crispmas" loku tell thor

"loke is not chrismas anemore" thor said nervusly bc he didnt get loki a gift he only gav him his dingaling oop

"just open ur fuckn present thor gddamn"

"omg rude" thor sai "ok wher is it"

"in my butt" loki said, waggin his butt sexy like a duck. Quack!

Ther so damn horn y he take off his pants like wshoosh and stuck his santa in lucky's chimney hole

"oh im cummin down ur chimny to give u presents" thor moan to get loki hot. But loki wus already hot ;)))

"oh no i think the fire is still burnin in the hearth" loki sed

"lol wat"

thor penus felt hot agai

"lOKI GODDAMN WHY" THOR YELLED BC HIS PENS BURNT

"merry crispmas" loki whispred


	14. Chapter 14

"loki wake up time now" thor siad, nuding loki soflty with his dong.

dong was lokis favorutie but loki kept snoring and drooling on his peilow. he had to be realy tire not to wkae up for thors dong.

"wakey wakey loki pokey" thor said poking loki in his lokubutt 

"go awya thor," loki

thor sighed an than went to kitchin to make loku some breakfast.

when he come back he poke lucky in the butt again. this time loki felt thor put his hard thing into his butthole roughyl

"dont be so rughly" loki complained but he wiggled his butt bc it feel good. "ooh ur so hard thro"

then leki felt something hot liquid pour into his butt. he gasp. "thor dont pee in butt" he whispres

"i made u some cofee" thor sai

"wut" loki said slowly

"wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttt"

thor put his mouth next to lokis ear and whispred to him while still pouring entiere pot into the funnel in lokis butt

♫ _"the best part of waking up is Folgers in ur butt"_ ♪

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> based on [this beutiful commant](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/23475143) by [RadiatorfromSpace](http://archiveofourown.org/users/RadiatorfromSpace/pseuds/RadiatorfromSpace) xoxoyz <34


	15. norse mythologie edition

bad things were hapening.

sifs hurr fall out. she mad.

thor penis still missin. he mad.

yotuns got into asgard and took everybodys jerbs. they mad.

somebody pee in odins big hat. he mad.

"its lokis fault" said evrbody "make loki fix it"

"thor go mak leki fix everyhting" odin sai

"loki does what he wants father" thor sai

"hit him in the dick wit ur hammr thor omg" odin sai

"ok" thor sai. he go.

"locki u ned to fix everything" thor sai.

"no thor i do wat i want!"

"lexi im gonna hit u in the dick with my hammer i stg" thor growly.

"no omg ok be chill" loki say "i'll fix it."

loki found a goat.

he tie goat to a rope and den tied the end of the rope around his balls. wtf loki.

"wtf loki" thor said. "how will this grow back sif's hair or find my pensu or make odin not smell like pee?"

"wait wut"


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cawtion: wet floor!!!

“Pee on me, Thur,” Leki whispread in a husky voice.

“Okay,” Throe said and began to pee wildly into the air.

Not a drop landed on Lorki.

“Odin damn it, Thot, you had one job,” Loxi growled. 

He was pissed. 

(*Ba-dum-tish*)

**Author's Note:**

> plz liek dis if u crie evr tiem


End file.
